Ah, now we get to the heart of the matter.
Who doesn't want to be popular?
If your answer to this is no, then not only are you a liar, but you have come to terms with the fact that you are such a f*cking loser, the second coming could happen with the messiah blessing you himself in front a the world it wouldn't help a bit. Don't feel to bad, the world needs f*cking losers. Why you ask? To make guys like me look even cooler than we already are. I know, I know, I didn't think that was possible, but I guess it just shows us what a big loser you really are.
If you are mad at my loser comment, take comfort in the fact that your World of Warcraft buddies are probably online right now waiting for you to log on. You guys can chat about looting, pillaging and all the hot girls at school who will never talk to you because you look like ... well you look like you. See.... I made it better already.
Ok, so you're probably wondering about the theme of this blog entry. How do I know what can make you popular, right? Well if you think it's necessary let's talk credentials.
1) I'm Kirby.
2) I have a straight f*cking legit tier one operator look going on.
3) You want to be like me and during games you stand next to me just to hear the awesome things that come out of my mouth.
If that is not enough to satisfy you, then please stop reading my blog immediately, because you have less sense that a bag of sh*t covered in burnt dog hair. Seriously! I am one of the most beloved members of my community.
Man do I get off track!
So you want to be a superstar??
Steps 1-3...
Grow A Pair Of Balls
- Superstars exude confidence, in play, in person, online. Superstars act like they always know what the f*ck they are talking about. Now you are new to this theory so your confidence level may not be as high as you want it, but the key is ACTING like you know what the f*ck you are talking about. It's ok if you don't, not everybody does, but your purpose should be to exude enough confidence that others are convinced that your word is gospel. This doesn't mean hassling them until they believe you, just believe in yourself, keep your cool and the rest will follow. If someone says your wrong, look at them straight in the eye and don't say sh*t. Why? Because you don't have to prove sh*t to anybody you're a f*cking superstar.
Stay Cool
- Superstars don't loose their cool. Get shot in the face with an AEG at 10 ft? Stay cool. Shoot someone ten times and they don't call it? Stay cool. Here is why? Anyone can get upset, and wearing your emotions on your sleeve is a recipe for disaster.
In situations such as these, two things come from staying cool...
1) People are unable to read what you are thinking based on your appearance.
2) People who don't understand you learn to fear you, not in the sense that you will hurt them, but in the sense that you are unpredictable. Fear leads to respect, respect leads to developing your position of authority.
Don't Be To Cool For School
- Don't act like your better than everybody else. Acting like an elitist @sshole leads to disdain, not popularity or respect. You know what a major characteristic of a great leader is? Being in touch with those in your environment (the common man) and being aware of their needs. Winston Churchill, raging drunk, abusive to women, great f*cking leader. He held England's hand through World War II and they loved him for it. People will over look your faults if they can relate to you.
This might sound a little mushy, but think about it, did people really love Hitler? Or were they just scared sh*tless by him? During the later years of the war after the Germans lost Tunisia, Hitler's own field marshals and generals new that overall defeat was imminent. But did they say anything? No. Why? Not because he was beloved, but because they were afraid that if they spoke up they would be executed. People love one of their own, act like you care and people will follow. Act superior and you'll be left out in the cold alone, making witty remarks that no one will ever hear or care about.
Follow my recipe for success or don't, it's up to you. Does it work? Yes. How do I know? Experience. I am not saying this is 100% guaranteed... well yes actually I am saying that. If you try it and it doesn't work for you, then the problem is you, not the plan. Think I'm wrong? Come say it too my face the next time you see me and watch me not do sh*t about it, because I'm a f*cking superstar, I don't have to prove anything to anyone.
Monday, March 28, 2011
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Airsoft Ettiquete: Why You Can't Call Someone A Douchebag To Their Face
So, for those few who actually read my blog, you may have noticed that I have taken somewhat of an extended break. Since I am this type of guy, I'm going to frank. For a time I lost all inspiration to write about anything airsoft related. I know it sounds terrible and it was, but it is not nearly as terrible as when your wife's herpes starts acting up, so don't feel too sorry for me.
At this point, a noble and considerate person might apologize for his misdirection. However, I write this f*cking blog and you do not, so that is not going to happen. If you want to start your own blog and ignore your kids to write by all means go ahead. Then you can tell people to go f*ck themselves as I just did.
So, let's discuss airsoft etiquette or as I like to call it, remembering your Emily Post. For those of you who do not know, Emily Post was an author during the 19th century who wrote many well received books about proper etiquette in just about every situation imaginable.
To begin, I would like to share a story about a recent experience I had. I was in an airsoft forum related altercation with another member. My verbal abuse of this member was not vulgar, nor was it tasteless. It was hilarious, factual and somewhat witty. However, the most important thing is that it was out of line. Did I mean what I said? Yes. Do I regret what I said? No.
Why not?
Because I meant every damn word, living your life with regrets is an ingredient in the recipe to make your entire life a failure. Saying exactly what you think, develops a sense of satisfaction within ones self that is impossible to resist. That is why I do it all the time. Developing such a characteristic in your pallet does tend to earn you enemies, but if you are similar to me, you couldn't give a damn about what other people think.
So, some rules of etiquette for airsoft...
Yelling at Cheaters
I recently experienced a southernCalifornia
However, I greatly desired to inform him that I was not cheating and that the reason he may have thought so is because we are f*cking awesome at airsoft and he is not. Of course, I would let him know that this was in no way his fault, but the fault of his captains for providing poor leadership, his parents for turning him into a p*ssy and God for not respecting his parents enough to endow them with a child who had any f*cking common sense or tactical ability. But I digress; I made no such remark although it would undeniably be a benefit to this person.
Yelling at a cheater is in bad taste and completely unnecessary. Common courtesy states that all members of the airsoft community should be treated with equal respect on the field. This rule should be followed, even if they act like f*cking retards, or play like a blind kid who's having a seizure. If someone is cheating simply inform an admin or continue to shoot this person until they decide to call it. If you would like to go back to the parking lot between games and tell your buddies what a *sshole that kid is do so, by all means that is your right.
Yelling at people can have egregious results.
1) Yelling at this person can make them feel singled out, creating a feeling of animosity and tension.
2) This tension and animosity can spread like a wild fire through community members, aggregating feeling of hostility among individuals who were not involved in the original incident.
3) If done by more respected and popular community members, this example may be followed and enacted by others who see this person as a pillar of their local airsoft community. This is another tool in developing tension and disrespect.
4) Victims of yelling may feel ostracized from other community members and lose interest in the hobby. This has the potential to greatly reduce the number of tangos you need to eliminate prior to completing the next objective.
I will continue discussing other airsoft related etiquette protocols in later entries.
I would like to say I am glad to be back. For those of you who have hounded me to continue creating witty and brilliant entries in my blog, I am happy to say that you can finally shut the f*ck up.
At this point, a noble and considerate person might apologize for his misdirection. However, I write this f*cking blog and you do not, so that is not going to happen. If you want to start your own blog and ignore your kids to write by all means go ahead. Then you can tell people to go f*ck themselves as I just did.
So, let's discuss airsoft etiquette or as I like to call it, remembering your Emily Post. For those of you who do not know, Emily Post was an author during the 19th century who wrote many well received books about proper etiquette in just about every situation imaginable.
To begin, I would like to share a story about a recent experience I had. I was in an airsoft forum related altercation with another member. My verbal abuse of this member was not vulgar, nor was it tasteless. It was hilarious, factual and somewhat witty. However, the most important thing is that it was out of line. Did I mean what I said? Yes. Do I regret what I said? No.
Why not?
Because I meant every damn word, living your life with regrets is an ingredient in the recipe to make your entire life a failure. Saying exactly what you think, develops a sense of satisfaction within ones self that is impossible to resist. That is why I do it all the time. Developing such a characteristic in your pallet does tend to earn you enemies, but if you are similar to me, you couldn't give a damn about what other people think.
So, some rules of etiquette for airsoft...
Yelling at Cheaters
I recently experienced a southern
However, I greatly desired to inform him that I was not cheating and that the reason he may have thought so is because we are f*cking awesome at airsoft and he is not. Of course, I would let him know that this was in no way his fault, but the fault of his captains for providing poor leadership, his parents for turning him into a p*ssy and God for not respecting his parents enough to endow them with a child who had any f*cking common sense or tactical ability. But I digress; I made no such remark although it would undeniably be a benefit to this person.
Yelling at a cheater is in bad taste and completely unnecessary. Common courtesy states that all members of the airsoft community should be treated with equal respect on the field. This rule should be followed, even if they act like f*cking retards, or play like a blind kid who's having a seizure. If someone is cheating simply inform an admin or continue to shoot this person until they decide to call it. If you would like to go back to the parking lot between games and tell your buddies what a *sshole that kid is do so, by all means that is your right.
Yelling at people can have egregious results.
1) Yelling at this person can make them feel singled out, creating a feeling of animosity and tension.
2) This tension and animosity can spread like a wild fire through community members, aggregating feeling of hostility among individuals who were not involved in the original incident.
3) If done by more respected and popular community members, this example may be followed and enacted by others who see this person as a pillar of their local airsoft community. This is another tool in developing tension and disrespect.
4) Victims of yelling may feel ostracized from other community members and lose interest in the hobby. This has the potential to greatly reduce the number of tangos you need to eliminate prior to completing the next objective.
I will continue discussing other airsoft related etiquette protocols in later entries.
I would like to say I am glad to be back. For those of you who have hounded me to continue creating witty and brilliant entries in my blog, I am happy to say that you can finally shut the f*ck up.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Part One Of Things You Do That Are Starting To Piss Me Off
Based on my last few posts, I know that this post should be a continuation of my discussion about airsoft personalities. I'm sure who were enthralled by my clever insights and my reference to Chuck Norris. However, I am not in the best mood this morning and you know I tend to get sidetracked, so today is one of those days.
My socially relevant issue today, has to do with airsoft forums and people who act like f*cking retards. I know, I know it’s an excellent discussion topic. Hey, why else would you be reading my blog, right? So let's begin...
One of the things I despise most on forums is people who act like f*cking know it alls. What do you think you're doing? We all know that the advice you are giving was just copy and pasted from some more intelligent person's thread or from the manufactures website. So why do you always act like you came up with some brilliant original thought?
I have some bad news, we all know that you don't know sh*t, which is ok because most of us think you're a joke anyway. Hey, I could look up all kinds of useful information as well, if I wasn't busy having a life filled with sex, accomplishments, general awesomeness and owning your @ss on the field.
The only relevant form of advice is based on personal experience. That means your experiences not someone else’s. I also read that cybergun is the devil, but that doesn't mean that I'm going to pass it off as my original idea. There are only two types of people who do things of that nature. People who just aren't smart enough to come up with something on their own and those who need everyone's approval.
That's right I said it, you need everyone’s approval. I'm sorry that your mommy didn't hug you enough as a child and tell you she loved you, but I'm not going to fill that f*cking void for you. So grow some balls and just come to terms with the fact that nobody like you.
Let's add to this...
Why the hell do you take decisions airsoft manufactures make so personally? I understand being frustrated by some of their less intelligent decisions, but what the hell did they do to you? Oh that's right, they were watching their bottom line, so they can continue to make a profit by offering quality products to ungrateful @ssholes like you.
Do you know why they discontinued production of your favorite pistol? Because they did a focus group and found out that only goat humping mama's boys like that gun and they decided they didn't particularly want that slice of the market share. I mean seriously, why do you act like they slept with your mom? I slept with your mom and you don't act that way with me. So what's your deal?
Anyway I think I'm done for today. I think I've pissed enough people off to make this one of my more popular posts. I'll add some more at a later time when the mood suits me.
My socially relevant issue today, has to do with airsoft forums and people who act like f*cking retards. I know, I know it’s an excellent discussion topic. Hey, why else would you be reading my blog, right? So let's begin...
One of the things I despise most on forums is people who act like f*cking know it alls. What do you think you're doing? We all know that the advice you are giving was just copy and pasted from some more intelligent person's thread or from the manufactures website. So why do you always act like you came up with some brilliant original thought?
I have some bad news, we all know that you don't know sh*t, which is ok because most of us think you're a joke anyway. Hey, I could look up all kinds of useful information as well, if I wasn't busy having a life filled with sex, accomplishments, general awesomeness and owning your @ss on the field.
The only relevant form of advice is based on personal experience. That means your experiences not someone else’s. I also read that cybergun is the devil, but that doesn't mean that I'm going to pass it off as my original idea. There are only two types of people who do things of that nature. People who just aren't smart enough to come up with something on their own and those who need everyone's approval.
That's right I said it, you need everyone’s approval. I'm sorry that your mommy didn't hug you enough as a child and tell you she loved you, but I'm not going to fill that f*cking void for you. So grow some balls and just come to terms with the fact that nobody like you.
Let's add to this...
Why the hell do you take decisions airsoft manufactures make so personally? I understand being frustrated by some of their less intelligent decisions, but what the hell did they do to you? Oh that's right, they were watching their bottom line, so they can continue to make a profit by offering quality products to ungrateful @ssholes like you.
Do you know why they discontinued production of your favorite pistol? Because they did a focus group and found out that only goat humping mama's boys like that gun and they decided they didn't particularly want that slice of the market share. I mean seriously, why do you act like they slept with your mom? I slept with your mom and you don't act that way with me. So what's your deal?
Anyway I think I'm done for today. I think I've pissed enough people off to make this one of my more popular posts. I'll add some more at a later time when the mood suits me.
Friday, February 25, 2011
Getting To Know The Opfor Part 2, Why You're Still Not Cool Despite What Your Mom Says
Now that you understand knowing personality types if important, let's talk details. The difference that makes you, me, and that poor guy we sent home crying last weekend. "Mom, I tried my best." *sniffling* Ha-ha, what a loser. Anyway, details...
Admit it, when you put on that plate carrier and sling that sexy M4, you feel like hot sh*t. Who doesn't? But chances are you are also acting like you're hot sh*t. Hey it's cool, I think I'm hot sh*t too, but there is a difference between the way we act in the parking lot and the way we act on the field. Perceptions can be deceiving and expecting your buddy to act like the tier one operator he thinks he is in the parking lot may not be the smartest thing to do. We're posers right? And because we are, chances are this whole facade may be an act. Therefore knowing who you can count on when it comes to it, means the difference between being like me or like that guy who told his mom he tried his best.
Airsoft personality types from A-Z
Aggressive -
There is nothing wrong with being aggressive; it's a fundamental personality trait of airsofters. The problem lies in those who let their feelings of aggression overcome their good sense and tactical capabilities. Hey, eliminating tangos feels good and is rewarding, but when you’re driving need to tear the opfor apart interferes with your team's overall ability to complete their assigned objective, is it too much? ABSOLUTELY. If you're in it for the milsim experience then nothing takes priority of your mission. This involves getting sidetracked in your head to go shoot someone. Did the SEALS from Tears from the Sun complete their mission by destroying the opfor? Well yes they did, BUT prior to that they tried their hardest to avoid the enemy in order to complete their mission. Their engagement with the enemy was a result unforeseen circumstances that disrupted their plan. It happens, but the point is they tried to complete their mission with minimum casualties and minimum kills. Aggression has a time and place and that is when it's when required to execute in order to successfully complete your mission.
Passive -
This guy can be considered Moriarty to aggression’s Sherlock Holmes. This is the guy that doesn't really want to attack but he also doesn't really want to defend. While your captain is assigning guys to the recon team, this guy is thinking to himself, "Well maybe if I blend into that scrub over there nobody will ask me to do anything and I'll still look cool." Guess what buddy, you never looked cool and we're not going to ask you to do anything because we already knew you were useless. Do us all a favor and go back to whatever World of Warcraft cave you came out of and do what you do best, leveling up and not having a girlfriend.
Part 3, will discuss the other two personality types, patient and resistant.
On a side note I have been getting a lot of feedback about putting pictures up along with my blog to make it less bland. After telling these people to shove their feedback up their @ss and to tell their wives to stop calling me in the middle of the night, I decided to do it.
So...
God bless America and God bless f*cking Chuck Norris!
Admit it, when you put on that plate carrier and sling that sexy M4, you feel like hot sh*t. Who doesn't? But chances are you are also acting like you're hot sh*t. Hey it's cool, I think I'm hot sh*t too, but there is a difference between the way we act in the parking lot and the way we act on the field. Perceptions can be deceiving and expecting your buddy to act like the tier one operator he thinks he is in the parking lot may not be the smartest thing to do. We're posers right? And because we are, chances are this whole facade may be an act. Therefore knowing who you can count on when it comes to it, means the difference between being like me or like that guy who told his mom he tried his best.
Airsoft personality types from A-Z
Aggressive -
There is nothing wrong with being aggressive; it's a fundamental personality trait of airsofters. The problem lies in those who let their feelings of aggression overcome their good sense and tactical capabilities. Hey, eliminating tangos feels good and is rewarding, but when you’re driving need to tear the opfor apart interferes with your team's overall ability to complete their assigned objective, is it too much? ABSOLUTELY. If you're in it for the milsim experience then nothing takes priority of your mission. This involves getting sidetracked in your head to go shoot someone. Did the SEALS from Tears from the Sun complete their mission by destroying the opfor? Well yes they did, BUT prior to that they tried their hardest to avoid the enemy in order to complete their mission. Their engagement with the enemy was a result unforeseen circumstances that disrupted their plan. It happens, but the point is they tried to complete their mission with minimum casualties and minimum kills. Aggression has a time and place and that is when it's when required to execute in order to successfully complete your mission.
Passive -
This guy can be considered Moriarty to aggression’s Sherlock Holmes. This is the guy that doesn't really want to attack but he also doesn't really want to defend. While your captain is assigning guys to the recon team, this guy is thinking to himself, "Well maybe if I blend into that scrub over there nobody will ask me to do anything and I'll still look cool." Guess what buddy, you never looked cool and we're not going to ask you to do anything because we already knew you were useless. Do us all a favor and go back to whatever World of Warcraft cave you came out of and do what you do best, leveling up and not having a girlfriend.
Part 3, will discuss the other two personality types, patient and resistant.
On a side note I have been getting a lot of feedback about putting pictures up along with my blog to make it less bland. After telling these people to shove their feedback up their @ss and to tell their wives to stop calling me in the middle of the night, I decided to do it.
So...
God bless America and God bless f*cking Chuck Norris!
Monday, February 21, 2011
Getting To Know The Opfor
Disclaimer: This entry in my blog is not as aggressive or hilarious as some of the previous ones. It deviates from that path in favor of a more cerebral direction. If you find that this is not your cup of tea, so f*cking what. Just read it, it's good to drink from the fountain of knowledge from time to time.
Understanding personalities isn't difficult. You don't have to be Carl Jung or understand Cognitive Behavior Theory to learn what motivates people. It's not rocket science, its common sense. Still confounded? Ok, I'll tell you what it is, the single thing that motivates people in airsoft... KICKING YOUR @SS. That's right, it's not elusive, it's simple, straightforward and exactly correct.
I always hear people saying, "Hey that guy is definitely a type A personality". What does that even mean? I'll tell you what it means, it means the guy telling you that doesn't know sh*t. Dividing people into meaningless categories is self defeating and ignorant. It is a narrow point of view that is both unnecessary and many times incorrect.
You know what motivates me?... ME. I think I'm awesome, if I didn't I wouldn't be writing this tactically observant blog or reading it at my desk every day to admire my own genius. "Wow Kirby, huge ego much?" Absolutely. My ego brings me fulfillment and success. What more could you ask for? Can you categorize that? Of course you can, you can label me under "guys you want to be like when you grow up".
But you know what? Knowing and understanding personalities doesn't mean squat when you’re playing airsoft. "But Kirby, you just said knowing and understanding personalities is important." I know I did, but that's only a small piece of the puzzle. What is really important is understanding how that personality is going to affect you. I am suggesting things like, is this the type of guy that's has the potential to impede our efforts to overrun the opfor's position? Can we count on this guy to be an effective tool in completing our mission?
Get it? If you're reading my blog or other airsoft blogs, chances are you take airsoft pretty seriously. Nobody becomes great at this sport just because their gun is accurate to 70 yards, or their gear is tier one status. They become great because they understand there is more to it then what vanity provides. Now don't get me wrong, having cool stuff and feeling cool is cool, but it can't make you effective or successful.
Through an absurdly unnecessary amount time of research, I have been able to label airsoft personalities into four categories.
Aggressive, Passive, Patient and Resistant
Now unlike categories such as "type A" or "type B", these categories do not define individuals. What they will do is provide you with detailed description of characteristics you might find in yourself and others, perhaps providing some previously undiscovered insight into personality types and how they can affect you on the field.
Part two will discuss this in more detail. More to come...
Understanding personalities isn't difficult. You don't have to be Carl Jung or understand Cognitive Behavior Theory to learn what motivates people. It's not rocket science, its common sense. Still confounded? Ok, I'll tell you what it is, the single thing that motivates people in airsoft... KICKING YOUR @SS. That's right, it's not elusive, it's simple, straightforward and exactly correct.
I always hear people saying, "Hey that guy is definitely a type A personality". What does that even mean? I'll tell you what it means, it means the guy telling you that doesn't know sh*t. Dividing people into meaningless categories is self defeating and ignorant. It is a narrow point of view that is both unnecessary and many times incorrect.
You know what motivates me?... ME. I think I'm awesome, if I didn't I wouldn't be writing this tactically observant blog or reading it at my desk every day to admire my own genius. "Wow Kirby, huge ego much?" Absolutely. My ego brings me fulfillment and success. What more could you ask for? Can you categorize that? Of course you can, you can label me under "guys you want to be like when you grow up".
But you know what? Knowing and understanding personalities doesn't mean squat when you’re playing airsoft. "But Kirby, you just said knowing and understanding personalities is important." I know I did, but that's only a small piece of the puzzle. What is really important is understanding how that personality is going to affect you. I am suggesting things like, is this the type of guy that's has the potential to impede our efforts to overrun the opfor's position? Can we count on this guy to be an effective tool in completing our mission?
Get it? If you're reading my blog or other airsoft blogs, chances are you take airsoft pretty seriously. Nobody becomes great at this sport just because their gun is accurate to 70 yards, or their gear is tier one status. They become great because they understand there is more to it then what vanity provides. Now don't get me wrong, having cool stuff and feeling cool is cool, but it can't make you effective or successful.
Through an absurdly unnecessary amount time of research, I have been able to label airsoft personalities into four categories.
Aggressive, Passive, Patient and Resistant
Now unlike categories such as "type A" or "type B", these categories do not define individuals. What they will do is provide you with detailed description of characteristics you might find in yourself and others, perhaps providing some previously undiscovered insight into personality types and how they can affect you on the field.
Part two will discuss this in more detail. More to come...
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Airsoft ADD Part 2: Keep Slapping
So, not that I'm done being distracted by my own wittiness, shall we continue?
Ok, here we go, so those suffering from the aforementioned affliction often lose interest in certain types of fields. This disinterest can cause them to miss games for the simple fact that a particular style of game play has lost its edge. To some extent I can understand this type of reasoning but despite repetition in environments, there is one thing that is in constant change... the opfor.
Name one game you have been to where the opfor had the exact same strategy or movement it had the last time you played at that field. You can't! The constantly changing opfor brings one thing to airsoft that nothing else can, continually changing dynamics.
Have you ever heard of the chaos theory?
Small differences in initial conditions (such as those due to rounding errors in numerical computation) yield widely diverging outcomes for chaotic systems, rendering long-term prediction impossible in general.
For those of you who may not comprehend this definition (considering this is an airsoft blog, probably everyone reading this), it means the same thing is never going to happen twice. There are only two certainties in life, stasis and change. The opfor provides that unique type of change that that is a vitally important part of creating a wonderfully tactical airsoft experience.
"Geez Kirby, you’re so smart you should be on the debate team!" Well when you're right, you're right but beautiful women don't go out with guys on the debate team so what's the point. However, if I am wrong and you are on the debate team and have a beautiful girlfriend, please post multiple pictures of her on here immediately so I can be proven wrong.
No two firefights, strategies or aggression levels are ever the same. Unlike a video game that provides a linear story line and experience, airsoft is constantly changing game play dynamics. That's one of the reasons people keep coming back. Whoa, relax I said one of the reasons not the only reason. Looking sexy and embarrassing people is still important.
So, if you find yourself agreeing with me and my point of view, can we agree to classify this as an airsoft related disease? ABSOLUTELY
I am sorry to say there is no cure for this affliction. I would like to say that reasoning and accountability can play a part in rectifying the hurts caused by arrogance, but sadly this is not the case. These people have ADD, there probably not even listening and if they are, they’re not even going to remember what you're saying five minutes from now. "So what do we do Kirby? We want our battle buddies back!"
Well, there is a suggestion I would like to make, but I cannot openly condone violence, torture or embarrassment. However, I will say this... we are grown men, and as such it is ok to admit you love your teammates like your brother. That being the case, it is important to remember that sometimes love hurts.
Time to get sidetracked again...
However bad we might find this, it pales in comparison t the most destructive airsoft related disease... ARROGANCE.
Ok, here we go, so those suffering from the aforementioned affliction often lose interest in certain types of fields. This disinterest can cause them to miss games for the simple fact that a particular style of game play has lost its edge. To some extent I can understand this type of reasoning but despite repetition in environments, there is one thing that is in constant change... the opfor.
Name one game you have been to where the opfor had the exact same strategy or movement it had the last time you played at that field. You can't! The constantly changing opfor brings one thing to airsoft that nothing else can, continually changing dynamics.
Have you ever heard of the chaos theory?
Small differences in initial conditions (such as those due to rounding errors in numerical computation) yield widely diverging outcomes for chaotic systems, rendering long-term prediction impossible in general.
For those of you who may not comprehend this definition (considering this is an airsoft blog, probably everyone reading this), it means the same thing is never going to happen twice. There are only two certainties in life, stasis and change. The opfor provides that unique type of change that that is a vitally important part of creating a wonderfully tactical airsoft experience.
"Geez Kirby, you’re so smart you should be on the debate team!" Well when you're right, you're right but beautiful women don't go out with guys on the debate team so what's the point. However, if I am wrong and you are on the debate team and have a beautiful girlfriend, please post multiple pictures of her on here immediately so I can be proven wrong.
No two firefights, strategies or aggression levels are ever the same. Unlike a video game that provides a linear story line and experience, airsoft is constantly changing game play dynamics. That's one of the reasons people keep coming back. Whoa, relax I said one of the reasons not the only reason. Looking sexy and embarrassing people is still important.
So, if you find yourself agreeing with me and my point of view, can we agree to classify this as an airsoft related disease? ABSOLUTELY
I am sorry to say there is no cure for this affliction. I would like to say that reasoning and accountability can play a part in rectifying the hurts caused by arrogance, but sadly this is not the case. These people have ADD, there probably not even listening and if they are, they’re not even going to remember what you're saying five minutes from now. "So what do we do Kirby? We want our battle buddies back!"
Well, there is a suggestion I would like to make, but I cannot openly condone violence, torture or embarrassment. However, I will say this... we are grown men, and as such it is ok to admit you love your teammates like your brother. That being the case, it is important to remember that sometimes love hurts.
Time to get sidetracked again...
However bad we might find this, it pales in comparison t the most destructive airsoft related disease... ARROGANCE.
Friday, February 11, 2011
Airsoft ADD and Why You Need To Slap It Out Of Your Buddy
So you’re probably thinking, “Airsoft ADD what’s that? I know airsoft, I look at it online when I should be spending time with my family, but I have no idea what this intelligently hilarious fellow is talking about?”
Let me begin by breaking it down for you. You know that Aunt you have who drinks way too much and is always rude on holidays, because her 8 year old never listens to anything she says and can’t sit still for five seconds? It’s something like that.
Let’s dig a little deeper shall we?
Airsoft ADD- When an airsofter is constantly losing interest in particular styles of game play. I.E. Field, CQB and MOUT.
Ah, starting to make sense right?
Well I’m glad, because for those of you who have teammates or buddies who suffer from this terrible affliction, you know this is more than just an irritation, it's more like a severe form of rectal trauma… ouch! This has the potential to be an obstacle in your tactical effort to ruin someone else’s day!
Let’s talk about truth, and I don’t mean the sugar coated “I’m going to make you feel good because I love you “truth. I’m talking about the “ Listen bro I just started dating your ex-wife because she is super hot and is easy when she’s drunk” truth. See where I’m going with this? Good.
So let’s begin an airsofter’s two favorite things about airsoft. Shooting people and looking cool while doing it. Alright, go ahead say milsim, guns and gear but the only reason you like these things so much is so you can shoot people and look cool while you’re doing it. 3...2…1 and the revelation begins.
Kirby, you just opened my eyes to understanding my true self!” I know buddy, hey that’s what I do. No need to thanks me because your sister thanked me yesterday… zing. Ha-ha just kidding... but seriously she did. Now that you’re going to be doing all this self reflection, can you do me a favor? Quit pretending that you wife/girlfriend, family and job are more important than airsoft. Your wife/girlfriend/ family are going to find out eventually. Hey the truth hurts but your kids will learn to understand. Mine did and that’s why they call me by my first name now and never look me in the eyes.
I know, I know, I get sidetracked. I think this is good for now, in part two we will begin by actually talking about airsoft ADD. I would love to keep blowing your mind with my insightful and witty remarks but I have to get ready to go on a train to a train museum tomorrow. A train museum! Who the hell does stuff like this! I hope there is an AEX nearby otherwise I don’t know what I’m going to do.
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