That being the case, I will not argue my point and will allow you to keep your restricted point of view. Don’t feel slighted by my comment, some of us have it and some of us don’t. I know I have it and I know you don’t, so let’s continue to remain civil.
So ten reasons airsoft is better than sex and paintball. Better than sex you ask? Absolutely, I understand at this point you may not agree with me, but allow me the opportunity to convince you.
I am not going to compile a numbered list as some of you may assume. The defense of my point will be a compilation of theories and observations.
Enjoy…
The McDonalds Theory
Were friends, so let’s be honest. Airsoft doesn’t exactly attract the cream of the crop from society; it doesn’t necessarily attract the dregs either. Let’s say if we were a tax bracket, a majority of airsofters would be considered lower/middle income. Or look at this way, if we were in the business world, most of you would be working the drive thru window at McDonalds and I would be the CEO of Victoria’s Secret. Don’t be upset, if you think that the McDonald’s employee is not you, then maybe it isn’t. Maybe you are like a janitor at Victoria Secret.
So considering my fast food example, I think it’s safe to say that a majority of airsofter do not get the opportunity to enjoy the opposite sex as some of us do. Think about it; look around the parking lot at the next game. Am I wrong? No. Am I offensive? Yes.
So if this aspects of relationships or one night stands is not available to most airsofters, then it's safe to say they don’t know what they are missing right? So, becausse of their lack of expereince they may be inclined to assume that airsoft is better. See how my logic falls into place.
This theory is not a perfect fit for everyone, so let's continue...
Tangos Don’t Say No or Get Headaches
Unlike girls, tangos do not succumb to menstrual periods or mood swings. When your aggression level is ten, you can count on the opfors being the same. Therefore, you’re opponent will never turn down a good fire fight. Day, night, rain, sleet, snow, you can be sure that someone will always be available to shoot at and help you relieve some pent up frustration and aggression. Though they may not be as enticing or attractive as a woman, you can count on two things when it comes to tangos that you cannot with women.
1) Tangos will never yell “Stop that hurts!”
2) After you’ve shot a tango and are done with them, they know it’s time to shut the f*ck up and leave you alone.
A Quick Finish Isn’t A Bad Thing
Let us again be honest among friends. We are more likely to run a 10 minute mile than we are a 4 hour marathon. Nothing personal, but we don’t always perform our best and sometimes… well sometimes all it takes is a commercial break. If you are thinking to yourself “Hey that’s not me”, you are full of sh*t and a damn liar. The people who think their sh*t doesn’t stink, are those with the stinkiest sh*t.
So anyway “quick finishes”.
Finishing quickly with a girl is not a good thing. It happens to everyone, you start feeling self-conscious, judged and well less of a man than you usually do. The last thing you need is a smoking hot girl thinking you’re a loser, because you didn’t perform up to par. For those of you who are married who gives a shit what she thinks, she f*cking stuck with you anyway, right?
On the other end of the spectrum, completing your objectives in the shortest amount of time possible is a great accomplishment. You feel self satisfaction, confidence, comradery, and new strength in your abilities. You also have a bunch of cool guys telling you, you are f*cking awesome. I know it’s not a girl saying it, but wouldn’t you rather be complimented by your peers than a girl?
Anyway, those are just the first few. I hope you enjoyed them, if you didn’t that ok, I’m a f*cking superstar remember?
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